Love, life and long health

By Andrew Humphries

“No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13

Viliami Vea knows what it means to lay down his life for someone.

In his case it was for his seriously ill sister Fe’ofa’aki Helotu, and Viliami didn’t hesitate when he was asked to put his life on the line to save hers.

Their remarkable story captures the strong bond between a brother and sister, and how a deep faith and prayer can open the door to what seems like a miracle.

Thirty-eight years after risking his own life to save his sister, Viliami, the Uniting Church’s Pacific Australia Labour Mobility scheme’s Community Connections Co-ordinator, still becomes emotional when recalling the events of 1987.

Fe’ofa’aki Helotu was only 20 that year and living in Tonga when it became apparent that serious kidney disease meant an almost certain death sentence for her without dramatic intervention.

While regular dialysis went some way towards giving her quality of life, without a transplant the prognosis was very bleak.

“They took me to hospital and ran some tests, and that’s when we found out my kidneys were failing,” Fe’ofa’aki Helotu told ‘The New Zealand Herald’ last year.

“In Tonga, there was nothing for that, and the only option was to go overseas or stay home and die.”

Viliami was enrolled in a law degree at university in Hawaii when he learned of his sister’s health crisis.

“I heard that she had fainted and been rushed to hospital,” Viliami, now based in Mildura, recalls.

“Fortunately a New Zealand doctor was visiting Tonga at the time, saw my sister and realised that she was suffering from kidney failure.

“The only options then were to take her to New Zealand or Australia for treatment.”

With little money to afford travel costs to New Zealand, it was members of their local church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, who stepped in to assist the family financially.

On arrival at a hospital in Auckland, the full extent of Fe’ofa’aki Helotu’s kidney problems became quickly apparent to doctors.

“They found that one kidney had been destroyed and the other one was shrinking,” Viliami recalls.

“The only option was a transplant.”

In Hawaii, Viliami was progressing in his studies and was in his third year of law when he received a telegram that changed his life in an instant.

“It was from a doctor in New Zealand and it said ‘your sister is here and she is dying and we need to see if a family member is suitable as a donor’,” he says.

“My brothers and uncles had all been tested and none were compatible, and it was then that the doctor was told about me, and sent the telegram.

“Tears came to my eyes when I read the telegram, and I knew that I had to be tested in the hope that I could be a suitable donor.

“When the tests came back saying that I was compatible I contacted the hospital in New Zealand and said ‘what do you want me to do?’.

“Their simple question was ‘well, do you want to help your sister?’.”

Viliami recalls talking to the Dean of Law at his university in Hawaii, who put everything into perspective for him.

“He said to me ‘if you stay here at university and get a degree and your sister passes away, what will you say to yourself?’,” he says.

“I knew then that I had to go and save my sister.”

It was an emotional reunion between brother and sister in New Zealand.

“When I saw her in hospital sitting in a chair I couldn’t help but cry,” he says.

“By that stage Fe’ofa’aki Helotu was very ill and could barely talk.

“The doctor pulled me aside to talk about the risk and possible side effects involved in being a donor, but I just said to him, ‘I don’t care, I must do this’.

“I immediately signed the form to donate the kidney which we hoped would save Fe’ofa’aki Helotu’s life.”

Almost 40 years ago, though, such major surgery carried considerable risks.

“My family didn’t know whether I would live after the transplant, but when I did wake the first thing I said to the nurse was, ‘where is my sister?’,” Viliami says.

“When they took me to see her we lay together and I could see she was already much better.”

Fe’ofa’aki Helotu is still alive today and lives in New Zealand and, while her transplanted kidney has begun to deteriorate and she requires regular dialysis, she is so grateful for the long life she has been given.

“I got married and was blessed with a daughter,” she told ‘The New Zealand Herald’ last year.

“I got to work and have a life. Thirty-seven years is a long time and I’m grateful for that.”

A humble Viliami is proud that he was able to give Fe’ofa’aki Helotu, now a grandmother of six, the opportunity to forge a life.

“I did my best and she has a daughter and grandchildren, and that is what makes me happy,” he says.

“When I die I will die a happy man, knowing I gave my sister many years of life.”

While one of the impacts from donating his kidney was that he was unable to have children of his own, Viliami has been able to adopt one of Fe’ofa’aki Helotu’s grandchildren, describing their bond as the best part of his life.

“Whenever I see her I reflect on the fact that she is the result of that sacrifice I made, and that makes me so happy,” he says.

A man of great faith, Viliami recalls clearly how important prayer was as he and Fe’ofa’aki  prepared for the transplant surgery.

“I have always had great faith and I believe in the power of prayer,” he says.

“I prayed myself before the surgery, as did the whole church congregation at that time.

“I could feel that power of prayer from the church members, and from my own family.”

It was, he admits, a difficult time for his parents, who faced the loss of two of their children if the surgery was not a success.

“I said to myself, though, ‘I believe in God and know that God holds the line on my life’,” Viliami says.

“There is a God above who holds everything on earth, including my life, in his hands.”

While distance means Viliami and Fe’ofa’aki Helotu rarely see each other, they talk often on the phone, sometimes recalling the magnitude of what happened in 1987.

“We still find it very emotional to talk about and, when we do, we often end up crying,” Viliami says.

“But that’s okay, we’re crying in a good way because we are so thankful for what we have been given.

“I am proud of my sacrifice and have absolutely no regrets.”

Been there, done that for Viliami

Shortly after Viliami Vea moved to Australia, he found work as a fruit picker in Mildura in 1993.

Thirty-two years later, he is on the ground in the same city helping Pacific Island workers like himself when they arrive in the Sunraysia region.

As the Uniting Church’s Regional Co-ordinator for the Pacific Australia Labour Mobility scheme’s Community Connections program, Viliami plays a vital role in helping Pacific Island workers settle into their new lives and surroundings.

It’s a job servicing a large area involving a lot of travelling, but Viliami wouldn’t swap it for anything.

There is nothing better, he says, than helping fellow Pacific Islanders find their feet in their adopted country.

“The main purpose with the role is to be there for our PALM workers,” he says.

“As soon as they arrive we let them know what exists in the community and what resources are available for them.

“For example, recently I welcomed a group of 30 Fijians who have begun working in aged care.

“We had a welcoming event with them and the local Fijian community, where we really encouraged that community connection.

“Every family came with food, such as rice, potatoes and noodles, which they brought to the workers’ accommodation, and it was a beautiful gathering and a great example of that community connection.

“That becomes so important when newcomers can embrace the opportunity to connect quickly with those already here.”

Viliami says ones of the first things workers arriving from Pacific Island countries find are cultural differences, something he can recall from his own experience in 1993.

“I worked as a seasonal fruit picker for more than 10 years, and that experience now helps a great deal in my new role with the PALM scheme,” he says.

“When some people from the Pacific Islands arrive here and are crying out for help, I know exactly why they are doing that.

“I have been there and done that and can understand what new arrivals are experiencing and how they can be helped.

“I’m well-resourced by the Uniting Church, which makes my job easier.”